just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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