Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
