do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
