i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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