honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
