If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
ttyl tear gas
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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