First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
