it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
