she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
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