i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize