i think my tv is drunk
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
