Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
