Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
