I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I AM VODKA MAN
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
