The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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