So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I need to sanitize my soul.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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