I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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