Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize