My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
