i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
the liver wants what the liver wants
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
