in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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