Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
