i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
