Porn is love you can see.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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