I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
