Have you finally orgasmed yet?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
