I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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