she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
