If that was your dad, he is hot
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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