I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just had sex on a roof
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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