I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I love you. Go after that dick
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