it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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