On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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