guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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