i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
