dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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