I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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