My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
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just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
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There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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