grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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