eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
