Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
