my phone needs a breathalizer
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
