quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
