HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize