we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
