I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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