I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
