school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
3 2 1 whiskey
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
