The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
