Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
