When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
