I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
