yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
