What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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