and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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