those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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