What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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