Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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