Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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