i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
