Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
That accounts for only three of the penises
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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