He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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